Confessions of a picture book manuscript submission...based on true events

After hours of writing, revising, and researching, I’m finally ready to submit my manuscript! EEEEEEK! Okay, I should probably double check the submission criteria one more time before I print all this off. 

(Looks up submission page on publisher’s website).

“Please include your contact information,” Check!

“List any credentials qualifying you to write your book,” Wow, I feel incredibly under-qualified by that statement….but check! 

“Be sure to send a cover letter with your synopsis (no more than 250 words),” Okay, better read that one more time. YES! Perfect! 

“Include competing titles and how your story would stand out in the market.” Shoot.  That sounds like soooo much work.

(Some time later, types up new paragraph in query letter).

Okay! Now I am ready!  Let’s print this baby off!

(Prints cover letter, query letter, and manuscript, reads it out-loud)

Wait a second! Now this sentence sounds completely stupid! I have to rewrite this, I'm not sending this! 

(Rewrites sentence and looks over documents again to be sure. Prints again). 

Oh my heck! I forgot to mention this is a multiple submission! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Oh well, guess I’ll need to print again. Well…while I’m at it, I think I’ll change my contact information and take out the fact that I’m a SCBWI member since I already mention that in the query letter. 

(Revises, prints again). 

OH NO! I probably should have mentioned in the cover letter that I’ve included my query letter and manuscript. I don’t want the editor to think I’m rude or too lazy to have mentioned it. UGH, This is the LAST TIME. SERIOUSLY! 

(Revises, attempts to print again).

Really printer? You’re really going to smudge up the ink like that? Ugh. Now that I think of it, I better check over everything ONE more time…wouldn’t want to have to print all this out AGAIN.

(Checks over documents)

HOLY COW! I can’t believe I forgot to put a comma right here! Wow. Good thing I checked this again...This is kind of freaking me out how I’m still finding this stuff.

(Feeling of impending doom settles in).

(Reads aloud documents again, makes more minor revisions). 

Okay. This. Is. It. I’m ready. No turning back. Here I come printer!

(Attempts to print again).

Seriously? Now you’re going to fold the corner of my paper as it goes through? Come on PRINTER! 

(Attempts to print again).

Ohhhhh kay.  I guess the rest of the paper that’s going to come out of here is going to have this folded corner right here. 

(Checks paper loader). 

Of course you're empty. 

(Loads more paper. Prints again). 

(Sighs with relief).

Thank you! Alright then, let’s get you packed away into that manila envelope already. 

(Carefully slides cover letter, query letter, and manuscript into envelope). 

Ooh, can’t forget this vital component. 

(Inserts self-addressed, stamped envelope).

OH MY HECK! I can’t believe I forgot to sign my cover letter!